Give me the strength to keep going. Please do not let my spirits die along with my dreams. Give me the courage to feel like I was made with the intent to follow my dreams and change people’s lives furthermore. Lay your hand upon me that my bones will elongate and the weight of this endeavor will not be so much upon my back. Dear Lord, help me. For I am nothing without you. Selfish as this thought might seem, it could be our way out.
I’m not starving. I’m not starving to be skinny. I’m not starving for a thigh gap. I’m not starving for hip bones. I’m starving to be long. I’m starving to feel tall. Is that odd? Not to me. I want to be PERFECT.
Does milk really help? Will breaking my bones and stretching them really help? What can I take to grow? Why am i so odd that I can’t even starve for the right reasons. Who am i? And what have i done with the girl that used to value herself? I’m lost in an industry I haven’t even been accepted in. And probably never will.